Seems like my mojo has taken a winter break. It's sped off into the wet and grey day, looking for greener pastures, or new ideas maybe. At any rate, my cooking mojo disappeared without so much as a 'see ya, I'll be back later'. My little man left on a jetplane to sunnier climes for 12 weeks, maybe he took it with him, disabling me to cook without him here. Or maybe my heart just sank like the carrot cake last week. It sank deeply and profoundly. In total disgust I threw it in the bin (the cake that is). My heart, well, it still beats but without a major arterial.
You can never really prepare yourself for these things. I'd been so positive for my boy, telling him how great it will be in Arnhem Land, soul country for many Indigenous Australians. What a wonderful experience he'll have, with his dad, little brother and step-mum. Such an adventure for an 11 year old boy, soon to be stepping out into that manly world. My friend Danni said it was like an initiation - going out bush with the Yolgnu people, learning language and culture that only a few white fellas get the privilege of learning.
As a single mum of nearly 10 years, I know that it is a great thing and his world will be so enriched.
In my quiet moments, I have the time to reflect on my life. A rare thing for a parent to do at length. Who are we without our children? It's more about purpose I think, for example I now have no purpose to bake. No little ankle biters to feed after school. No little man to cheer up with chicken soup and a warm afternoon tea cake straight from the oven, drizzled with buttery cinnamon sugar....
|on his way up...|
So, I need to look outwards, see what I can do. Tomorrow is 'Baking Our Blues Away' annual day of good will. I've attempted my 2nd cake this week - so far so good. It's called the Lazy-Ass Cake from www.onionringsandthings.com. Surely nothing can go wrong! Teamed with Donna Hay's Chocolate cream cheese frosting and some blueberries on top, I hope to put a smile on others faces at least. That makes me smile.
Purpose is a good thing. Good to have and even better to find. With purpose I shall bake, for others. One of the main reasons I like to cook is for other people. Nothing like food to warm hearts. Think I might go and make some lemon curd for my mum...