Time to be fabulous!

As I sit and contemplate the past year and my upcoming birthday, I think to myself, I need some fabulousness. And that, dear foodies, comes in the form of Phuong Dung's Fabulous Chocolate cake.

I have written of this before, the ooey gooey goodness of 200gm of butter and chocolate that is pure heaven.

Heaven indeed. 

It's been a year of grief and much sadness for my dear friend and myself. We have had our loved ones depart our worlds - and for me, this has culminated in severe anxiety and a deep sadness that just moves around me silently like a shadow.

Chocolate helps. Actually, it is the baking that helps - the warmth of the kitchen, the radio on - it brings my beloveds closer, I can wrap them in a moment of time, casting a spell.

So, this is for my dear friend Phuong Dung and all those in my heart, you know who you are. Fabulous!

If in doubt, BAKE!

Given I am prone to doubt at times, and the usual parent-worrying type of behaviour I have a new mantra - "IF IN DOUBT, BAKE"

....and so I do. My son reaps the benefits of this and he never has to know the thoughts that go through my head that get him treats; from chocolate brownies, banana bread, muesli slice, jelly slice, Anzac biscuits, chocolate mousse, apple crumble with cream & ice-cream to lemon delicious pudding!

I was never much of a baker, well I told myself I couldn't bake. Then one day I decided that I could and I would. So I did. Simple. 

The power of thought is amazing, all it takes is the first step off that one-way treadmill, a couple of cookbooks, the world of the Internet, a few cooking shows AND of course, a great love. A love of food, yes, but also a love for life, a desire to see kids smile as their eyes glaze over in pure foodie delight. A love of fine things, of friends, of family, of art. 

And of course, self love comes straight out of the pan and into the heart. When I cook 'Love Cake' (adapted from Jamie Oliver) for the love of my life, I pour my heart and soul into the mix. I have a special heart-shaped bowl just for him. It gets left on the bench for midnight tastings and walk-by's. It is my way to say I love you, and, knowing how much he appreciates it, I feel incredibly loved in return. All I need is to see his face as he takes a bite, or the empty bowl, devoid even of crumbs.

Cooking is empowering. I can fulfill those I love in a most basic way. And the best thing? My recipients of goodness don't even know about it, they are just sated, their bellies content. And, I too am content.

A New Year

Spending the afternoon with those you love, drinking beers in the (kids) pool, eating ice-creams and chips - yes in that order - was just a lovely way to end and start a year. We chatted about the year that was, the family's that made us, and that sometime break us. Our personal goals, our wish list, completed or not. No grand promises or resolutions, just quiet reflections to be more creative, to push those boundaries. 

To love and be loved, to enjoy our kids, to make the most of every moment. Whether that moment be lying in a pool with a rubber ducky around your waist, or whether it is spent starting that elusive first novel. Just to have my wonderful friends with me, travelling alongside me on the sometimes rocky road that I chose to travel, means more to me than words can express. It's often a feeling, a look out of the corner of the eye, a loud boisterous laugh at each other. But mainly just the company of friends, who love you warts and all. Sometimes friends come and go, for many reasons, but some are here to stay. Stay in my heart, that special place that is private, that is reserved for big love. 

Thank you my two dear 'wusbands' for your support, love and openness over the years. I look forward to many more laughs, food and friendship!